As you approach birth, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions: excitement, anxiety, anticipation, and even fear. You may feel uncertain about how birth will unfold or how you’ll cope. These feelings are all valid. If you’ve had a previous traumatic or difficult birth experience, it’s understandable that these feelings might feel even more intense. Taking time to reflect on what felt challenging and practicing strategies can help you feel more empowered and supported this time around.
By understanding how your body and mind work together and practicing strategies ahead of time, you can feel more prepared to navigate whatever happens. These tools can help you manage pain, regulate your nervous system, and return to a sense of calm when challenges arise. Whether you are planning for a vaginal birth or a scheduled caesarean, these approaches can help you stay grounded, connected, and supported.
Preparing for birth is about more than planning; it’s about accessing support and building confidence in your ability to stay present, advocate for yourself, and trust in your strength—no matter what path your birth takes.
Understanding Your Mind, Body, and Birth Hormones During Labor
During labour, your nervous system and hormones are closely connected. Each of the three systems—Threat, Drive, and Soothing—can activate different hormonal responses that impact how you experience birth.
1. The Threat System
Activated by: Fear, pain, uncertainty, or feeling unsafe
Linked Hormones: Adrenaline and cortisol
When you're scared or overwhelmed, your body releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones prepare your body to fight or flee, which can slow labour by reducing oxytocin (the hormone that helps contractions). You may feel tense, panicked, or disconnected. This is why feeling emotionally and physically safe is so important during labour or surgery.
2. The Drive System
Activated by: Motivation, focus on goals, urgency to progress
Linked Hormones: Dopamine and endorphins
Dopamine helps drive your sense of progress and reward—pushing you forward with energy and determination. Endorphins, your body’s natural painkillers, can also increase when you're working hard toward a goal, providing some pain relief. This system can be incredibly helpful in keeping you focused and goal-oriented. However, if it becomes overactive and isn’t balanced with the Soothing System, it can lead to frustration, exhaustion, or a sense of failure—especially if things don’t go as planned or progress feels slow.
3. The Soothing System
Activated by: Safety, calm, support, connection
Linked Hormones: Oxytocin and endorphins
The soothing system helps you stay grounded and centred. Oxytocin—sometimes called the "love hormone"—is essential for labour, promoting contractions and helping you feel connected, calm, and cared for. It also supports bonding with your baby. Endorphins also play a role here, reducing pain and creating a sense of well-being. Supportive touch, kind words, music, and deep breathing all help activate this system.
When Labor or Birth Doesn’t Go as Hoped or Planned
Birth is unpredictable, and changes in the plan—such as emergency interventions or the need for a caesarean—can affect how safe and supported you feel:
Shifting into the Threat System: Unexpected events can trigger your threat system, making it harder to stay calm and in control. You might feel disconnected, anxious, or unable to communicate clearly.
Feeling Overwhelmed: This response is normal. Understanding it can help you recognize what’s happening and use strategies to shift back into your soothing system, where you feel calmer and more capable.
Reflecting on Potential Triggers
Taking time to reflect on what might trigger stress or trauma during labour or birth can help you feel more prepared and supported.
Questions to Consider:
- Are there situations or environments that have made you feel unsafe in the past?
- Do you feel anxious about medical settings or specific procedures?
- Are there particular sounds, smells, or sensations that might feel overwhelming?
- How do you typically respond to stress (e.g., shutting down, becoming anxious, or feeling disconnected)?
- What type of communication feels supportive and calming? What doesn’t?
Action Step:
Write down or discuss your reflections with your birth partner, therapist, or care team. Sharing your insights can help them provide the right support when you need it most.
Birth Skills to Use During Labour or Birth
Let’s imagine you're in the midst of labour and you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious. Your threat system is activated, and you might feel tense, scared, or disconnected. These strategies, drawn from the book Birth Skills by Juju Sundin with Sarah Murdoch, can help you stay grounded, calm, and focused:
1. Rhythmic Movement
- Sway or Rock: Helps keep your body relaxed and encourages the soothing system.
- Stomp or March: Moving your feet rhythmically can reduce tension.
- Lean or Squat: Use positions that help you feel strong and aligned.
2. Breathing Techniques
- Slow Breathing: Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth to signal calm.
- Counting Breaths: "In-2-3, out-2-3" for rhythm and focus.
- Pant-Pant-Blow: Use quicker breaths followed by a long exhale during intense moments.
3. Sensory Tools for Comfort
- Sight: Focus on calming visuals, like a photo or affirmation.
- Touch: Hold a stress ball, soft blanket, or cool cloth.
- Sound: Listen to soothing music or hum to activate the soothing system.
4. Visualisation
- Picture contractions as waves, rising and falling.
- Imagine a peaceful, safe place where you feel in control.
5. Vocalisation
- Use low, calming sounds like humming or moaning.
- Avoid high-pitched sounds, which can increase tension.
6. Distraction Techniques
- Counting: Steps, breaths, or beats in music.
- Focus Objects: Watch a candle flicker or a moving mobile.
7. Physical Comfort
- Counterpressure: Have a partner apply firm pressure to your back or hips.
- Warm or Cold Packs: Use heat or cool towels as needed.
- Water Therapy: A warm shower or birthing pool can ease tension.
8. Rhythmic Tools
- Tapping or Clapping: Tap your hand or foot in a steady rhythm.
- Punching: Use a soft pillow to release energy.
9. Focused Sounds
- Make a play list
- Mantras like “I am safe, I am strong” to stay grounded.
How to Prepare Ahead
- Practice Strategies: Use them during pregnancy so they feel natural during birth.
- Build a Support Team: Talk to your partner, doula, or midwife about how they can help you stay in your soothing system.
- Create a “Labor Toolkit”: Pack items like sensory tools, affirmations, music, or a comfort object.
- Practice Self-Soothing: Practice breathing, visualization, or tapping during everyday stress to build confidence.
No matter how your birth unfolds you deserve to feel supported, informed, and empowered. Preparing your mind and body by learning how your nervous system works, practicing calming strategies, and building a support network gives you tools to navigate the unpredictability of birth with greater confidence and resilience. Remember, strength in birth isn’t about control—it’s about staying connected to yourself, your needs, and your voice, no matter what path your birth takes.
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