If you feel like mothering today is more overwhelming and, just quietly, a lot harder, than it was for your parents and grandparents, you are right. And spoiler alert: it’s not you. It’s the world we’re parenting in.
Raising kids during a cost-of-living crisis, with maxed out schedules and no traditional village is causing an entire generation of parents to burn out.
Parenting educator and mother-of-four, Gen Muir, doesn’t hesitate when asked if child-raising is more difficult today.
“100 per cent,” she replies. “We’re parenting in a much more individualised society. There is less village, a bigger load, and we’re under more pressure to do more.
“Statistics show modern mothers are spending more time playing and engaging with their children than stay-at-home mums in the 1970s.
“We’re having less children, but we’re putting more into the ones we’ve got.”
"Raising kids during a cost-of-living crisis, with maxed out schedules and no traditional village is causing an entire generation of parents to burn out."
Modern parents are time-poor and stressed out
Parents are working harder than ever to chase that elusive work-life balance. But thanks to societal pressures, economic anxieties, and information overload, the never-ending juggle is leaving us mentally and physically drained.
A 2024 survey found 74 per cent of Aussie women felt stressed balancing work and family commitments.
That figure jumped up from 51 per cent of women five years earlier.
Research in 2022 found 60 per cent of parents never had time to relax, and half felt they didn't have time to complete everything.
Below are just some reasons why we’re feeling stretched so thin.
1. Raising cost-of-living and financial pressures
How often do you find yourself ducking to the shops for a couple of items and ending up spending over $50? Or do you avoid a full petrol tank?
You are not alone in feeling the pinch week-to-week. The cost of living today is more expensive than ever.
Australian salaries have not kept pace with skyrocketing costs of groceries and bills, and housing affordability is at its worst in decades.
Having two incomes is a necessity for many households, but a lack of affordable childcare and flexible work options, makes this unattainable for families.
Struggling to make ends meet can cause feelings of sadness and guilt if parents feel like they’re not doing enough, or kids are missing out.
2. It takes a village – but it’s gone
Everyone knows, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, but today’s parents are working and caretaking without the support previous generations relied on.
Couples are living away from grandparents and isolated in cities with less emotional and physical help.
Gen, of Connected Parenting, felt “shocked” when she had her first baby 15 years ago. “I found myself lonely in an apartment, bathing my baby on my own every night. I was wondering, ‘where was this village my mum had, and I grew up in?’”
3. Social media pressure and online safety
Digital innovation has benefits, but it has given us information overload.
Every late-night scroll can overwhelm parents with conflicting advice from ‘experts’ about settling and feeding and unrealistic expectations for tantrums and teenagers.
“One of the biggest changes we’ve seen is the information we have access to,” Gen says. “Our parents didn’t have that. It starts the minute we have a pregnancy scan. It’s good we know more… but that comes with new things to worry about.”
Being connected 24/7 can make it difficult to switch off. Parents must monitor their own digital use, while navigating the risk of cyberbullying, online threats and screen addiction in children.
4. Generational and parenting style conflicts
Parenting differently from what we experienced as children means going against an ingrained, unconscious pattern of behaviour and beliefs. This is no easy feat.
Dealing with tantrums, tears, and aggression differently to how we experienced, without an instruction manual, can cause emotional dysregulation in adults.
Compounding a mum’s guilt and stress, is hearing comments like, ‘oh I never did that in my day’, ‘or our kids would never do that’, which undermines confidence.
"Kids thrive on connection, not insta-worthy crafts, meals, and holidays."
What can I do to avoid modern parenting burnout?
While the above can feel dire, there are many ways to protect your mental health while managing modern kids.
- Let go of perfectionism. It’s impossible to be everything and do everything all the time. Kids thrive on connection, not insta-worthy crafts, meals, and holidays.
- Don’t practise ALL the advice. Take what works for you and throw the rest out. You are human, no one can be perfect all the time.
- Limit screentime. Mute accounts that make you feel ‘less than’, follow ones that make you laugh and inspire.
- Find a village. It might look different to your mum’s, but there are huge benefits from leaning on school parents, neighbours and friends.
- Ask for help and take it. If feasible, outsource meals, cleaning and childcare
- Prioritise your mental wellness. Meditate, exercise, and breathe. Model self-care and emotional regulation, it teaches children to look after their minds too.
Self-compassion and kindness go a long way
Self-compassion is the most useful tool when life gets too much.
Whether it’s adjusting to life with a baby or 10 years into parenting, speaking kindly to yourself is key to feeling confident and less guilty.
“We are so hard on ourselves,” Gen says. “We sit on the couch at night and overthink everything; ‘oh we didn’t get that right; we didn’t nail that … I’m a terrible parent’.
“We need to catch that as an opportunity, and instead of thinking ‘poor me, this is hard’, acknowledge you are doing something for the first time.
“Just like we want to be kind in a tough moment for our kids, do that for yourself. It’s a game-changer, and it’s healthy modelling for our kids.”
Try telling yourself:
- I’m doing the best I can, and that is enough
- It’s OK to feel overwhelmed. This moment will pass
- I’m allowed to rest. Caring for me, is caring for my family
- It’s normal to struggle and make mistakes, I’m still a good mum
"...there are huge benefits from leaning on school parents, neighbours and friends."
Find moments for self-care and say yes to practical support
Parents need to carve out time for themselves, even if it’s for minutes. “Self-care has to be flexible, and it’s about what feels nice and kind,” Gen says.
“Have the long, hot shower, say yes to the food a neighbour is offering. It’s mini moments of self-care, not just big chunks of it.”
Another tip to recharge, is to tap your partner out, especially in postpartum.
“We talk about fitting your own oxygen mask, but sometimes we don’t know when we need to. One of the best things I’ve learned is to step in and say, ‘I’ve got this’,” Gen says.
In moments of overwhelm, parents should recognise ways to lighten the load.
That might be sending children to grandparents, asking a friend for a cooked meal, or having your toddler sleep in daycare clothes to make the morning routine smoother.
For new parents, after the newborn bubble has passed, communication about schedules, support, and rest is vital.
A modern parenting positive: Change in gender stereotypes
Modern parenting is certainly not all bad.
One of the best changes, is dads leaning into caretaking. Gen thinks she’s now outnumbered by men at the school gate – which was never a sight 10 years ago.
“There has been a shift of how involved, confident and competent dads are,” Gen says.
“It’s a profound, beautiful thing. The winners in that scenario will be mums and babies. The baby now bonds not with one, but two primary caregivers, which is fantastic.”
Equality progress is trickling into many Aussie homes but there is more systemic change needed to benefit parental wellbeing and family support. However, Gen is hopeful.
“We will find a balance,” she says. “There is too much on modern parents now, we have to talk to parents about self-care and self-compassion, but we also have to address lowering the pressure and making structural change for navigating parenting.”
If you find yourself constantly burnt out...
If you’ve tried to put some of these strategies in place but still feel like you’re constantly burnt out and running on empty, it might be time to chat with a mental health professional. There’s zero shame in that and getting support is genuinely one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and your family.
Gidget Foundation Australia provides free individual and group psychological therapy services nationwide. Support is available to birthing and non-birthing parents from pre-conception to 12 months postpartum, who may be experiencing perinatal anxiety, depression, or the mental load that often comes with perfectionism or OCD‑type traits.
Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders affect up to one in five mothers and one in ten fathers, so if you’re struggling, you’re far from alone. You're not supposed to do this whole parenting thing without support, and you definitely don’t have to.
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