Rebecca
pnda
It really does take a village to raise a child but also a village to be there for the mother and father.
Have you ever felt like you were in a big black hole and couldn't get out? That is how I felt for most of the first 18 months of being a mum.
There was something not quite right with how I was feeling on day five after having my son. Everything was so overwhelming. "I shouldn't be a mum" was the one thought that kept running through my head.
My son and I couldn't get breastfeeding right, he wouldn't sleep, and I didn't have the mental capacity to look after him or myself. I did not want to be alive and I was convinced my son would be better off without me. The worst thing I was doing was putting on a happy face and lying to everyone that I was okay.
I finally started telling the people closest to me how I was feeling, and it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. My Gidget Clinician gave me tools to get through each day: get outside, go for a walk, take time for myself.
Going back to work at nine months was a big turning point. I started to see the light at the end of that hole. The dark days became less and less, and now the moments of pure joy with my son continue.